The Dichotomy

2010-07-31T21:54:00.000-07:00

"Though on paper I appeared to have a good life, the truth was that I was positively miserable. And so, in my usual studious and analytical form, I sat down and took stock of my life. I tried to figure out what it was that was making me so unhappy, and how it could even be possible that I was unhappy, even though I Did Everything I Was Supposed to Do. Then one day, it finally dawned on me:

I could not have been put on this Earth to work this hard at being an individual."
Borrowed from the amazing Chookooloonks.

warning: this post has a lot of swearing in it.

2010-03-06T14:38:00.000-08:00

I'm currently at my parents' house - came to surprise the Mom for her 60th birthday.

I am crankier than FUCK. My friends are all in bad moods - or else none of them care that I'm here and just want me to go away again, none of them are understanding me when I'm trying to ask questions about what is going on (ie - Question: DO we HAVE to wear a hat? Is it part of the rules? answer: well last year I wore three so no you don't HAVE to wear one. ... WHAT?!??!). I'm tired of being the fattest person in the family and feeling like a great big disgusting blob ("You know, if you took the dog for walks more, you wouldn't be so heavy." FUCK YOU.) I don't want to go out. I don't want to stay in. I kind of want to go home, but not really. I'm tired of people not answering my texts. I feel totally left out of everything. SIGH.

Ps... I HATE VISTA.

Untitled

2010-02-23T14:08:00.001-08:00

I found this great quote by Ashe Mischief that I absolutely LOVE:

"As I get older, I sometimes find my own insecurities to be a great
means of jump starting myself to change something, to make something,
to do something other than be jealous. It makes me evaluate my
feelings–oftentimes, making me realize that while I may be jealous or
envious, that I may not WANT to put the work in to attaining it for
myself.

For me, a great example of this is related to body weight and image.
While I may be entirely jealous of Kate Moss’s svelte figure, her now
infamous quote, “Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels,” reveals a
mindset that I have no interest in. My jealousy dies down– because I
don’t want to deny myself delicious foods, spend all of my time
working out, or damaging myself emotionally to spend that much time &
energy fixated on my weight. It’ll inspire me to eat better, eat
less, and move more, but will remind me that I can utterly enjoy
eating experiences as well. In short, it reminds me that I’m the one
coming out ahead…not Kate Moss."

Posted via email from Shannon's posterous